Ahimsa Designs – Artisan Vegan Jewelry Designs by Kristen Anderson

This is the first day that I felt the air change.

Waking up the house felt crisp.

Stepping outside the cool air invigorated me enough to inspire me to go for a walk.

{The fact that my thoughtful son suggested I walk in the opposite path of his bus stop so that I wouldn’t get hit by the bus is a different topic. Either his bus driver is not in her ideal profession or he is embarrassed by his mom who has been known to wave as the bus passes}

There is a stirring in me too. I have always loved fall. The cooler air. The promise of hot cocoa, roasting marshmallows, sitting around the fire, burrowing in with those I love.

And yet, there is something that leaves a lump in my throat. Brings tears to my eyes. Perhaps it is memory on a cellular level of the changes that have occurred in the crisp Autumn air…our perfect wedding day, seeing the yard covered in blackbirds after the positive pregnancy test, sending my babies to school for the first time, saying goodbye to my father.

It feels like being welcomed back and left behind all at once.

Summer has laughing children, flexible schedules, sun and warmth. Spring has hope in new life and the thawing. Winter has a stillness in the promise of what is already bursting forth just under the soil. Autumn is when we see the breathtaking magnificence in change, transitions and letting go.  

Not always easy stuff.

We are blowing through this life as if we have time. But, we don’t.

And this glorious reminder of changes, transitions, endings and death can remind us to breathe it all in, not to start living tomorrow when we have money or success or the kids are older or we retire or we live in the house of our dreams or there is nothing that weighs on our hearts anymore. That day may come, but the ache will still be there.

What have I done with this one cataclysmic synthesis of atoms and stardust?

Thank you, autumn air, for waking me up, reminding me that in the beauty of mortality there is urgency. All of those cliche phrases about living in the present moment, that’s kind of it. This moment. Not perfection. Not happiness. Just showing up. Fully me. Fully you. Maybe with remnants of sadness or worry or fear. Being gloriously human, fully alive, with all of our colors and limitations and imperfections.

It’s all so breathtakingly beautiful.

Sending you so much love, wherever you may be on this path.


P.S. Do it now!!!