It is difficult to experience the sadness the end of summer brings for me, although this year is less challenging than some. When my kids were in traditional school, I felt that I was losing them to schedules, routines, homework, school activities. Autumn brought the end of months of imagination, play and relaxation. Last summer was a blur of change for us and then I attempted to homeschool them so there was not the familiar sense of loss. I held them close. A fire in our home last fall gave us an abundance of time together as we spent weeks in one hotel room.
This year our kids are in a school that allows them freedom and a voice. We are no longer slaves to a schedule and can do what feels right to us. They can sleep in a little if they need it , they choose what to do at school and they have a constant flow of play dates so that our house is always full of life and laughter. David and Zayden are taking one day a week to be together for homeschooling and I am taking one day a week with Alex and one with Sophie. Sophie and I are volunteering at an animal shelter and I am enjoying every minute with them. I know what the alternative is and I know it is not for us right now.
So, although the sense of loss is not as painful as it has been before, I will still miss laughter at the pool, staying up late, sleeping in, being in the sun and long summer nights. There is part of me that loves the boundaries and routines that fall brings…bedtimes, time to work and create, feeling snug when everyone is gathered together at night.
I am working on being aware in this present moment. Not so much looking up or down stream. And so I express gratitude for all that has been this summer as I embrace this very moment. It is exactly where I need to be because it is exactly where I am.
Love & Light to you,